The Undoing

My husband hit the jackpot with his wedding anniversary present this year.  I’m still marvelling!  He says I’m a tough cookie to buy for (I’m really not!  Sadly I’m a female cliche – I like massages, chocolate, flowers, kitchen shop vouchers, music, pretty pottery – you get the picture!).  My operation date coincided with our anniversary (great timing, I don’t think!) and in the run up to my surgery he wanted to find me a gift that would really impress me.  He managed it!

Over the last two years I have immersed myself in Christian music.  It’s one of my favourite swaps to chat over with friends, “Have you heard this……?”.  I find it the quickest way to pull myself out of a low mood, to learn Bible verses by heart and predominantly to remind myself that I am at my best, safest, most content when I’m worshipping God.  It’s just how it is.

My precious husband has noticed the steady stream of music that floats through the house and my excitement at a new lyric that resonates or the crowing of delight as a friend sends a link to a new song I haven’t yet discovered.  He has clocked the softening in me when I emerge from time with God in this way and to encourage my journey to deepen, this year I unwrapped this little gem from him:

CD cover

If you’ve never heard Steffany Gretzinger’s album The Undoing please get your hands on a copy!  It is passionate, raw, intimate, vulnerable, different and beautiful.  There have been a handful of artists that I have discovered lately that have transformed how I speak to and hear from God and this album is one of those life-changing moments for me.  Misty Edwards. Jaye Thomas. All Sons and Daughters. Tim Hughes. Kim Walker-Smith also have a special place in my heart.

As I went into my surgery, wondering what difference it would make on the other side I am grateful to have been given a reminder of one of my favourite refrains from the album, to keep me steady,

I can’t see
What’s in front of me
Still I will trust You
Still I will trust You

Steady heart that keeps on going
Steady love that keeps on holding
Lead me on
Steady grace that keeps forgiving
Steady faith that keeps believing
Lead me on

Though the sky is dark
And the wind is wild
You’ll never leave me
You’ll never leave me

Though the night is long
There is a coming dawn
The light is breaking
The light is breaking

Steady heart that keeps on going
Steady love that keeps on holding
Lead me on
Steady grace that keeps forgiving
Steady faith that keeps believing
Lead me on.

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