Helena Monck
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That Giant called IVF
The time we had hoped would never arrive is here and we are as rested and prepared for this unknown quantity as we can be. I pick up the phone to call the NHS clinic to request IVF treatment. It… Continue reading
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A Study in Hope
I’ve been meaning to write this post for a long time. I’m learning, sometimes far too slowly, how important it is for me to keep revisiting specific themes and verses in God’s word, allowing them to soak into my heart… Continue reading
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A New Season
It’s been a little while since I have written anything here. It hasn’t been intentional silence – we have been through a busy period of leaving, moving, readjusting, rediscovering, settling. We are entering a new season and I am expectant… Continue reading
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A Mother’s Heart; a Warrior’s Spirit
I have met with many women along this journey. My need to process aloud, to seek comfort from the qualified and to make sense of this great weight has brought me into the presence of amazing ladies that I now… Continue reading
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Sausage Machines and Sweet Williams
As we head back into the NHS system I think how low we have started to set our expectations so that disappointment can no longer blind-side us. Our first IVF department appointment is as expected: clinical, emotionless, highly factual, full… Continue reading
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The Undoing
My husband hit the jackpot with his wedding anniversary present this year. I’m still marvelling! He says I’m a tough cookie to buy for (I’m really not! Sadly I’m a female cliche – I like massages, chocolate, flowers, kitchen shop… Continue reading
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Polyps and Promises
And then it comes. An unexpected breakthrough. My parents happen to go away on holiday to the other side of the world and come back with the name of a recommended private London clinic that can give us a second… Continue reading
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The Game Changer
“Your only choice now is IVF. There’s nothing else we can do for you here. Your egg reserve is also on the low end of normal so you’d be wise not to delay with the IVF option – this time… Continue reading
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Hello Two Year Anniversary
I am acutely aware of this moment – suspended in time – as the month drags itself along. It surprises me that two years can have passed so quickly and yet every one of the seventeen-thousand-five-hundred-and-twenty hours we have lived… Continue reading
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Early Essentials
One of the major battles from the last two years has been my struggle at fully enjoying any other woman’s pregnancy. It is an agony to be jealous and to know that it’s a natural human reaction even when you… Continue reading
treasures in the darkness 