Latest Posts

  • The Power of Prayer

    In this lonely season as I have searched through books, the internet, podcasts and worship music to find comfort and company I have been reminded again and again of the power of prayer, especially from those around us. If you’re… Continue reading

  • God’s Plan for Pregnancy

    As the months roll on, we continue to receive phone calls from friends announcing new pregnancies. We receive the news with excitement tinged with our own sadness as we tick people off the imaginary list we have formed of those… Continue reading

    God’s Plan for Pregnancy

  • Change is Slow

    I wish I could say that with all I have learnt so far, I handle the next phase with a more swiftly settling peace and acceptance than I do, but I’m a fighter and instead my heart and mind wrestle… Continue reading

    Change is Slow

  • One Step Forwards, Two Steps Back

    In the beginning every passing month was notched up on a chalkboard in my mind and I would hope we would be pregnant before we reached the next six month milestone. Now the months blur and I cannot remember without… Continue reading

  • The Meaning is in the Waiting

    As I continue in this place of reflection, considering the last eighteen months, I am saddened to hear from mothers who have been through this before me still pondering the meaning of their own journey. Despite the babies they now… Continue reading

  • His Transforming Work

    I am not who I was.  There is no question in my mind that the Helena of February 2013 has gone.  I am not exactly sure what the changes are but I know I carry an inner strength that was… Continue reading

  • Learning Steady Steps

    July is here and with it the imminent arrival of friends’ newborns and the news of the blessing of a new addition to our wider family. My desire is to celebrate wholeheartedly the joyful news of those around us. I… Continue reading

  • Flowers in the Window

    The doubts had started to creep in again and I have found myself again increasingly fearful that the one thing I hope for – to be pregnant – is not what He has chosen for me. God reminded me powerfully… Continue reading

  • A year on….

    28th February 2014.  This week marks a year since we started trying for a baby. Twelve months. Three-hundred-and-sixty-five long days of overly-conscious barrenness. Empty of new life.  This is where we are at and after a year of not really… Continue reading

    A year on….