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  • A New Season

    It’s been a little while since I have written anything here.  It hasn’t been intentional silence – we have been through a busy period of leaving, moving, readjusting, rediscovering, settling.  We are entering a new season and I am expectant… Continue reading

    A New Season
  • Sausage Machines and Sweet Williams

    As we head back into the NHS system I think how low we have started to set our expectations so that disappointment can no longer blind-side us. Our first IVF department appointment is as expected: clinical, emotionless, highly factual, full… Continue reading

  • The Undoing

    My husband hit the jackpot with his wedding anniversary present this year.  I’m still marvelling!  He says I’m a tough cookie to buy for (I’m really not!  Sadly I’m a female cliche – I like massages, chocolate, flowers, kitchen shop… Continue reading

    The Undoing
  • Polyps and Promises

    And then it comes. An unexpected breakthrough. My parents happen to go away on holiday to the other side of the world and come back with the name of a recommended private London clinic that can give us a second… Continue reading

    Polyps and Promises
  • The Game Changer

    “Your only choice now is IVF. There’s nothing else we can do for you here. Your egg reserve is also on the low end of normal so you’d be wise not to delay with the IVF option – this time… Continue reading

  • Hello Two Year Anniversary

    I am acutely aware of this moment – suspended in time – as the month drags itself along. It surprises me that two years can have passed so quickly and yet every one of the seventeen-thousand-five-hundred-and-twenty hours we have lived… Continue reading

  • Early Essentials

    One of the major battles from the last two years has been my struggle at fully enjoying any other woman’s pregnancy. It is an agony to be jealous and to know that it’s a natural human reaction even when you… Continue reading

  • Waiting Well

    Over these last four months of hospital visits, infection, pills and pessaries, anxiety attacks and unexpected negative reactions to the tablets, my faith in God’s ability to do a miracle for us has been sorely tested but in my knower… Continue reading

  • The Power of Prayer

    In this lonely season as I have searched through books, the internet, podcasts and worship music to find comfort and company I have been reminded again and again of the power of prayer, especially from those around us. If you’re… Continue reading

  • God’s Plan for Pregnancy

    As the months roll on, we continue to receive phone calls from friends announcing new pregnancies. We receive the news with excitement tinged with our own sadness as we tick people off the imaginary list we have formed of those… Continue reading

    God’s Plan for Pregnancy